So I'm almost caught up with Thursday's episode of ATWT.

#1 - i am fascinated by my fascination with Casey. I find him stupidly hot and then stupidly funny looking and then stupidly hot again.

#2 - I kinda wanna punch Luke in the face

#3 - I kinda hate Noah for saying "i told you so" and not saying "let me bag my class, we're both shook up, and let's go have lots of sex somewhere."

#4 - I don't understand the emily/casey/alison/matt/jade/whomever thing. at all.

#5 - Totally illegal for margo to call luke's mom

#6 - speaking of luke's mom ... way to go being an adult around Jade. WTF?

#7 - okay, i maybe love casey for when jade says that he should sue emily for sexual harrassment because emily was the boss and had all the power, and casey says "yeah, but that's when we were good together." Bottom!casey/Top!emily; pegging fic - GO!

#8 - okay, margo letting lily talk to elwood - ummmmmmm, NO NO NO!

#9 - when allison says to jake Noah that billy Casey is all his. dirty thoughts. really deliciously dirty thoughts.

#10 - luke/noah with noah all standing next to lily, making him the adult and luke the spoiled child. jesus, could you beat us over the head with the subtlety stick?

#11 - M is for Matt, and Mark, and Margo, oh, and Moron, and, umm, did i mention, MORON?

#12 - regardless of the absolute stupidity of this show, holy adorable. they're so, gah, i just, i run out of words. i do. absolutely. out of words.

#13 - luke is all paranoid because someone is slipping him bad drugs! or, you know, not, but whatever.

#14 - again with lily/jade and lily's ability to NOT be an adult.

#15 - i really like allison's hair in this episode. sometimes i wish i had straight, flippy hair.

#16 - For the first time Luke said to Noah "Reg was one of us." and i kinda wanted to stand up and slap someone and say, "yeah. Reg was one of your day players that was supposed to be queer. maybe killing off the queers is a bad idea? maybe?"

#16 - so i thought the casey/allison shit was over, but it's clearly not.

#17 - if the M is Matt, i'm going to be irritated as fuck. Except that doesn't make sense. So, i'm going to be irritated as I would be if i were wearing a wool bra that was three sizes too small.


From: [identity profile]

And this is why I love you and read everything you write and because you are so wonderful and say all the right things in all the right ways and I second your emotions.

From: [identity profile]

Best episode reaction. EVER.

And I always kind of want to punch Luke in the face. Sometimes in an annoyed way but mostly because even though he's such a fucking brat, he's also so fucking cute and you can't resist him and I want to punch him in the face for that.

I wanted to punch Noah for saying "I told you so" too. I get that they're painting Noah out to be the "good one" in the relationship but sometimes they make him too high and mighty and I want to shake him.

#5 - Totally illegal for margo to call luke's mom

RIGHT? I kept screaming at the screen, HE'S AN ADULT! IF HE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO CALL HIS PARENTS YOU CAN'T. That's right up there with if Katie's doctor told Brad that Katie was doing everything she can to get pregnant behind Brad's back.

SO OVER Casey and Alison.

Don't want "M" to be Matt either. Don't want Matt be a bad guy period.

From: [identity profile]

oh, see, i rarely want to punch luke in the face. normally i like him, and his passion, and his determination. but this just made him dump, so i really want to punch the writers of luke in the head.

the thing is, i think casey/alison could be cute. but i like alison/matt, and i like casey/jade. i just hate waaah waaaah waaah alison/casey/love you/hate you/love you/emo/wah waah waah.

A couple of my friends seem to think it's going to be Mark and that's why Kevin is back in the picture. I really hope so. However, i would like Matt to be the voice of reason, not Noah. Because by the end of the episode I wanted to punch Noah in the face as well.

From: [identity profile]

Well, see. I'm all for passion and determination and wearing your heart on your sleeve and all that jazz. And I'm even all for those things sometimes making you stupid. But with Luke, it seems like it ALWAYS makes him stupid. Heh.

But, yeah, it's definitely all the writers.

I liked Casey and Alison in the beginning. But now I am so over this whole them thinking they have some kind of epic love that never got started thing. And the fact that they're acting like a bunch of 12 year olds about the situation isn't helping at all.

I already know who the killer is so yeah. Hee.

I'm all for Noah being the voice of reason as long as he doesn't shove it in your face 24/7. Then he just starts becoming Jack to Carly.

From: [identity profile]

#9 - when allison says to jake Noah that billy Casey is all his. dirty thoughts. really deliciously dirty thoughts. Thought I was the only one. :-)

Thank you for this, you pretty much summed up my reaction as well.

Like the others, don't want Matt to be the bad guy. Like him too much.

From: [identity profile]

oh good. i'm so relieve about #9. i actually thought about you when i was thinking #9. because you could do that proud.

From: [identity profile]

*whispers sweet Bake or Jilly thoughts in your ear for once you're done with the piece you're working on now*

From: [identity profile]

I think I like Jilly... And I'm totally not scared, that I was wondering what to call them and you came up with the name.

Let's see...

Marnie's standing in front of me, looking perfectly exasperated. I'm caught for a moment, because that's usually how I feel around Billy. And she's got that look in her eyes, Alison doesn't want to want him, but Casey isn't someone you forget.

Neither is Billy.

"He's all yours."

I know I'm supposed to think now. I'm supposed to open my mouth and say some line, but all I can think...

Visions of Billy and what that would mean flash before my eyes.

It's getting too long and you're supposed to say something.


So much for One-Take-Jake today.

Kinda what you had in mind?

From: [identity profile]

You're killing me.

I know it's him, before I turn around. I missed up the line six more times. I'm sweating. I want to beg Marnie to just say anything but that line, but I know I can't.

But every time she opens her mouth and you can have him, all I want to do, is grab her hands and scream, "Thank you!"

It's ridiculous and embarrassing--like a junior high dance all over again. Billy is my Nancy Russell. Sweaty palms. Cracking voice. Weak knees.

He turns me into an awkward 14-year-old.

The director is mad, and I feel like I'm about to head to the principal's office. Marnie is exasperated, but trying to help.

Van is no where around. He knows my secret and he's my best friend, so I kind of need him right now. He'd tell me what to do.

Instead, I feel a hand on my shoulder. I know it's him. Is it ridiculous that I know how his hand feels? There's a soft breath against the back of my neck, and it cools me, because I'm sweating.


He's concerned. He's being my friend. I can't turn around. If I do, I'll do something stupid for sure.

"Come on..."

He's going to tease and cajole. I really wish he wouldn't.

"If you get through this scene, I'll be you a beer. Would you like that?"

I still can't turn around, but his hand is moving now. He's rubbing across my back.

Even if I wanted to say something, I couldn't.

His hand slips a little lower and I shudder.


He moves his hand, does he think he hurt me?

That's not possible.

Letting out a breath, I finally turn around.

He's smiling.

I could do this if he wasn't smiling.


From: [identity profile]

SO MUCH MORE THAN OKAY!!!!!!!11111!!!!!!!!!

it is heaven! it is perfect! it is glorious!

i want to live in this world!

hajkdfs;h uif;dgui;afdhuig; afui;jdf;gjio;djfkg;nljdfzlgks

*continues to worship you*

From: [identity profile]


And I'll dole out just a little bit more...

“Beer? Alcohol does a body good.” He’s grinning like a fool and I love it.

But I kind of love everything about him.

I can feel my lips twitching and I’m trying not to smile back. I glance over his shoulder and see Chris glaring at me. I quickly sober, as visions of getting drunk with Billy dance before my eyes.

That’s a definite sobering thought. I can’t go. I can’t get drunk with him. I do stupid things when I get drunk. I kissed Van once when I got drunk. I called my last girlfriend four times in a row. And when she didn’t answer, I called her parents.

What would I possible do if I got drunk with Billy?

“I can’t.”

Not sure if I said it aloud, but I can see a flicker of disappointment in his eyes.

“Work again tomorrow. And, you know, I just need to get through this scene. Thanks anyway.”

He’s not speaking. What’s wrong? He always talks. He always jokes. He always smiles.

Why isn’t he speaking?

Then I feel that hand again. It’s on my shoulder, squeezing.

“I’m here if you need me.”

I nod, because I can’t really speak.

He heads off the set and miraculously I get through the scene.


When I leave the studio that night, that normal feeling of accomplishment isn’t there. Maybe it’s because I wasn’t One-Take-Jake.

Van’s one step behind me. “You okay, man?”

I can’t even look at him. “Promise me something?”

He grins quizzically at me. “Sure.”

“I want to get drunk tonight. And whatever I do, don’t let me call Billy.”

He nods in understanding. “Let’s get drunk.”

the end (for now)

From: [identity profile]

*kisses you a million times over*

so, uhhh, in your mind does Billy also have a thing for Jake?

because, while it totally wouldn't have your lyricism, and it would have lots more swearing, i kinda hear Billy's PoV whispering in my ear....

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!

From: [identity profile]

Love you, too. You're like one of the best. :-)

i kinda hear Billy's PoV whispering in my ear....



From: [identity profile]

It's getting too long...

Um, what exactly is getting long? *snickers like a 12 year-old*

Hee! I'm digging this. *keeps reading*

From: [identity profile]

If you'd had a beta, we would have had to wait, and you might have not posted it! and i loooooooove it!

From: [identity profile]

Aw, thank you. I needed this--to get out of my own head with Between and real-life.

Really appreciate your help tonight.

From: [identity profile]

Not half as much as i appreciate you right now. (i totally bragged about this on a board in the random thread.)

From: [identity profile]



#12 - regardless of the absolute stupidity of this show, holy adorable. they're so, gah, i just, i run out of words. i do. absolutely. out of words.

This is basically what I have to do because DEAR GOD with teh stupid running amok here, kids. Honestly, show. The boys talking about how great it is to be fucking over coffee at Java constantly for a month while we await the impending return of daddy!damian SO would've worked for me. Like a lot. Like a lot a lot.

The writing of impulsive!luke and rational!noah within an inch of their cute little lives is old. Luke needs to stop being a brat and Noah needs to stop being the VoR and they just need to go behind Java and fuck or something.

I like Casey/Ali. I like Ali/Matt. I like Casey/Jade. Just not when they are whining all about it.

From: [identity profile]

lily's ability to NOT be an adult
Her son's way too similar to her for his own good. 8\

For the first time Luke said to Noah "Reg was one of us." and i kinda wanted to stand up and slap someone and say, "yeah. Reg was one of your day players that was supposed to be queer. maybe killing off the queers is a bad idea? maybe?"
*sighs sadly* I know Reg was almost never on, and was only ever used as a plot point, but killing him off was such a slap in the face. And the fact that the plot his death kicked off is more about the Matt/Ali/Casey/Jade whatever than it is about Luke and Noah is like a kick in the face with a golf shoe.

But still--
regardless of the absolute stupidity of this show, holy adorable. they're so, gah, i just, i run out of words. i do. absolutely. out of words.
THIS! <3


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