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Title: All in His Head
Author: nouveau_monday
Fandom: As the World Turns
Pairing: Luke/Noah
Rating/Warnings: NC-17; m/m sex
Spoilers: No spoilers for anything recent.
Word Count: 2400
Summary: What would Luke be thinking after that night swimming in the Snyder pond?
Notes: While driving to therapy, I heard The Sugarcubes song Hit. I tried to focus on anything else, but all I could think of was Luke and Noah.
Luke yanked the pale green pillow over his face. That green, the same shade as the stripes on Noah’s button down. What had that been? He wasn’t imagining it. If Maddy hadn’t walked in. He flopped onto his stomach. But she had walked in. She had walked in on her boyfriend heavy breathing in the arms of her best friend. “Fuck me,” he moaned. His stomach clenched. Fresh sweat broke out across his palms. Another goddamn crush on another goddamn straight boy. Why couldn’t his dick figure out that Noah was off limits?
Noah’s hands, his arms, that incredible chest. All wet, all warm. He winced at the pressure of his hard-on against the sheet. The sheet the same color as ... He sighed. Do not go down that route. He’s Maddy’s boyfriend. He touches her all the time. What happened last night was confusion, nerves, fright, something. And yet? The electricity, that moment when there had been no one else there but the two of them. Just their bodies and breath so close he had felt it across his cheek and lips. He slammed his forehead against the mattress. His back remembered the hard curves of his grandmother’s butcher-block counter and his chest ached for the weight of a hard, wet body pressed against his.
This had to stop. There would be no second Kevin. Sure, Noah hadn’t called him a faggot. He’d been cool with the gay thing, and even cool with being told he was the object of a big gay crush. Luke’s ears burned at the memory of Noah’s cool voice daring him to look him in the eyes. Luke’s stomach flip-flopped. His dick grew impossibly harder.
He nearly bit his lip off as his balls throbbed. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. Distract yourself, Snyder. Do something other than think about Noah.” He might as well have suggested he do something other than breathe.
Luke grabbed his iPod off the bedside table. A run would help. The sticky summer air weighed in at an almost comfortable humidity. At this point it didn’t matter. Anything would be better than tossing and turning all night. His fingers ached to write more Invisible Girl, but there was no way she was going to have blue balls, so really, what was the point? He grabbed a pair of grey cut off sweats from his dresser. “Damnit!” There was no way to run sporting wood the size of one of those redwood trees.
Luke threw the shorts against the wall. The soft double thunk indicated they’d hit the wall before landing on the floor. Probably, hopefully, hadn’t woken any of his family. He rolled his eyes. The last thing he needed was another ‘some day your prince will come’ lecture from his parents. They meant well, but ... not so much.
His hand found the lube stuffed under his mattress. Whacking off at gram’s probably not the most PC thing. They were okay with the whole gay thing, but would they be okay with this? Did he care? He flipped his music on to random in an attempt to distract his desire. The smooth slipperiness of the liquid poured over his right hand. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard at the first touch of his fingers on his skin.
His hand smoothed over the head, slipped down the shaft. In his mind it became Noah...
*******
Noah knelt at the bottom of the bed. “Is this what you want, Luke? You can’t even look at me most of the time, but now?” His voice held that earnest innocence that undid Luke every time.
“Yes,” he breathed. “Yes, this is what I – oh god – please. I want.”
“Me? You want me to what, just watch?” Noah’s blue eyes lit up. His impish grin curled the corners of his lips. “Or maybe? Maybe I could help?” The rough heat of his hand dipped down to palm Luke’s sac. “Or this?” The fingers of Noah’s left hand looped around Luke’s shaft. He squeezed close, but not too hard.
Luke bit his lip, thrusting his hips ups in encouragement.
“You seem to like that?” Noah’s voice roughened. His breath hitched.
“I do. I do. Just don’t stop, please.”
*******
The song changed. Vienna’s weird music slid into his ears. That group with the bizarre singer, Bjork or whatever, he closed his eyes to stop himself from coming and listened to the words.
This wasn't supposed to happen,
I was happy by myself.
Accidentally, you seduced me,
I'm in love again.
How did some crazy old singer from some unknown part of Europe get him so fucking well? He pressed the back of his scalp into the pillow. This wasn’t supposed to happen. How could he be jonesing for another straight guy? His dick obviously didn’t care about orientation, just hotness.
*******
Noah’s fingers tightened, sliding up the shaft to encircle the head. He pressed his thumb against the very tip of Luke's dick. A throaty growl reverberated from his chest. “I could just swallow you whole right here, right now.”
Luke pressed his lips together, not wanting to break the spell.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? If I just –“ Noah leaned forward to swipe a slow, firm lick up Luke’s shaft. He tongued his way around the tip before settling his lips fully over the head. When he sucked in, the wet heat nearly destroyed Luke. Noah’s teeth scraped ever so gently against him, while his hands moved down his dick to once again hold his balls. His tongue swirled once, twice, over him. Luke’s hips bucked forward. “So close. Almost, oh god, going to come. Noah.”
*******
Luke’s hands sped up over his own dick. His palm shifted over his. The lube heated up, but couldn’t compare to what he hoped a boyfriend’s mouth would feel like. Up and down, pace slowing for a moment then speeding again, Luke tortured himself by not allowing the release. His heart wasn’t quite ready to shut down his dream.
This wasn't
Supposed to happen,
I've been hit
With your charm.
How could you do this
To me?
I'm in love
Again...
*******
Noah raised himself up to look into Luke’s eyes. “So much better when you don’t run away. You’re always leaving, Luke, why is that? Don’t you know I want you near me? Can’t you tell how I feel?” He skidded his way forward until he was a push up’s distance from Luke.
Noah’s pale skin inches from Luke was a whole new torture. He closed his eyes and once again felt warm breath across his cheeks, his eyelashes.
“You can’t even look me in the eyes. Why is that? What do I have to do?” Noah’s voice clung to that smug superiority that shouldn’t have been as damned sexy as it was.
Luke’s eyes flew open to lock against the intense blue of his lover’s. He gasped, squirmed against the sensation as Noah pressed his own thighs, chest and, oh god, dick against Luke’s. The gentle strokes of body against body had Luke whimpering all over again.
Noah’s eyes never left Luke’s intense brown stare. He laughed again. “That got you to look at me.” Noah’s arm muscles rippled slightly under the struggle of holding himself off Luke. His shoulders clenched as Luke’s cool fingers slid between their bodies. Luke feathered his hands across Noah, watching Noah tip his head back to groan.
“Do you like it?” Luke’s heart pounded. How should he touch Noah? What would he want? Noah’s arms wavered. For the briefest of moments their chests touched. Noah’s nipple burned against Luke’s. Their eyes rolled back in their heads.
“I do like it,” Noah managed to get out. “Not about me, Luke. About you. What do you want?” He moved closer, propped himself on his elbows. He licked a heavy trail from Luke’s collarbone to his ear, before biting at his neck. “What do you want?” He asked again.
Luke shook his head. His damned face went red hot. His ears burned. “Just. Want. You.” His hands wedged their way into the small space between their chests. Noah’s muscles tensed. He bit his lip. Luke smiled at the power he now held. “Love your body, Noah. Tried not too, but can’t help it. I know, I promised myself, never again after Kevin. But here you are and,” he groaned. “I’m weak. So fucking weak.” He rotated his head to stare at the shoulders on either side of him. He couldn’t meet Noah’s eyes any more.
Luke’s shift opened his neck to an intense assault to his senses. Noah slipped his elbows forward until their bodies met and his mouth met the curve of Luke’s neck. He bit harder at the taut tendon before sucking his skin hard enough to mark, deliberately seeking a bruise.
Luke writhed underneath Noah. His hands sought purchase against the chest that help him captive. He roamed his hands over the ripples of Noah’s abdomen. Each muscle isolated under his fingers as he flitted his fingers across to the incredible dip where Noah’s back met his ass. Captivating even in those borrowed, ugly blue shorts, Luke’s throat went dry as his hands slid across Noah’s hips and squeezed the muscles of his ass. Oh my god, he thought. I’m going to have Noah’s hickey on my neck tomorrow. Fuck. It’s way too hot for a turtleneck. Luke wriggled away. “Noah, you have to stop.” The humid air swiped cold across his heaving chest. He ached to pull Noah close once more.
“You want me to stop?” The pout of Noah’s voice contrasted with the smirk in his eyes. He dragged his tongue over Luke's neck. "Really?"
"Just don't leave a mark. We can't, we need to, what about Maddy?" Luke's stomach turned sour at the thought. She should know. He should confess his crush. If he could tell Noah, surely he could tell Maddy. Maybe that would make the permanent ache in his stomach and heart go away. Right, and maybe Casey would show up and Maddy would actually remember the difference between love and having a friend. Friendship meant movies and talking all night. Love was swapping spit like you meant it, and not like you were trying to prove a point to your damned father.
He used the pads of his finger to squeeze his balls gently. His other hand barely swayed over the head of his dick.
Noah's hands were larger, stronger than Luke's. He knelt up on the bed, pulled Luke's hands above his head. "Stop thinking, Luke. Just enjoy it." Noah caught Luke's mouth in a breath-stuttering kiss. Their tongues slid across each other. Luke's dick jumped in a combination of empathy and desire as Noah sucked on his tongue, then bit his lip. "This is going to happen," Noah breathed. "This is what you've wanted." Noah nipped Luke's jaw, traced the motion of Luke swallowing with his tongue. Luke's hands remained pinned. He switched his grip to hold Luke's biceps. Noah swirled his tongue over Luke's nipples. He scraped teeth across them, forcing Luke to a moan.
Noah slid his thighs over Luke's. The electric jolt of their dick's connecting made Luke's world go blurry. He couldn't finish a sentence or even a word. Hoping Noah got the point, Luke thrust his hip up. The move felt so good. His shaft embraced by the muscles of Noah's legs and somehow stroked him in just the right spot. He tried again. Still not trusting his power of speech, Luke managed a barely audible moan. He held his breath, only letting it out when Noah got the hint.
Noah's hands wrapped around his side placing pressure right on Luke's hipbones. They were hot and dry and somehow gentle. Noah's mouth eased off Luke's nipples and painted a spiral across his stomach. Luke's breath hitched. His hips moved. His dick ached for warmth and wet and Noah. Noah's teeth grazed his hipbones. He tongued the slide of his hip. Noah eased himself back to place his weight on Luke's shins. He left his hands where they were and breathed a hot kiss across the pre-come glistening on Luke's dick.
The first gentle lapping of Noah's tongue nearly shattered Luke. He pressed his lips together, tried to think of where they were, of who was home, of anything that would stop him coming on the spot. Noah wrapped around him and swallowed. Wet pressure, tension, heat slammed through Luke like lightening hitting the pond. His balls throbbed, contracted. Then Noah ran his tongue across where his balls met his dick. His teeth pricked dangerously at his base. The barest of gestures had pre-come catching on the back of Noah's throat. Where had he lost his gag reflex and learned to suck dick like that? He whimpered, wondering if it would be better if Noah was a virgin. Noah's second swallow, the one that squeezed his dick until he thought he might die, stopped Luke from caring. Again and again, slower, faster, harder, Luke lost track of the sensations as his lungs lost the capacity to function and his balls tensed. "Don't stop, Noah. Please. Coming. Coming. Oh shit, Noah, coming right now."
Lost in his own world of sensation, Luke's heart shattered into a million pieces as strands of come coated his fingers. He battled for breath and against tears. Still too hot, still too humid, and now so fucking lonely he wanted to curl up and die. The uncomfortable stickiness of lubes and come on his dick and his fingers depressed him. He grabbed his shirt off the floor and cleaned himself up as best as he could.
Luke fumbled under his pillow for Noah's shirt. Pathetic or not, when he'd had the chance to switch Noah's T-shirt for another one he'd done it immediately. It smelled of Old Spice deodorant, some generic boy cologne and most importantly Noah. Luke tightened his hands on it and allowed himself the quickest of smells. Noah told him to write about why Invisible Girl liked the guy. Would he ever be able to tell him that it was the way that guy gave head?
Luke shut off his iPod and attempted sleep once more.
*******
You've put a seed inside me,
And while you're away,
It's growing silently,
Starts in my stomach.
Embraces my insides,
And about to reach my heart.
Author: nouveau_monday
Fandom: As the World Turns
Pairing: Luke/Noah
Rating/Warnings: NC-17; m/m sex
Spoilers: No spoilers for anything recent.
Word Count: 2400
Summary: What would Luke be thinking after that night swimming in the Snyder pond?
Notes: While driving to therapy, I heard The Sugarcubes song Hit. I tried to focus on anything else, but all I could think of was Luke and Noah.
Luke yanked the pale green pillow over his face. That green, the same shade as the stripes on Noah’s button down. What had that been? He wasn’t imagining it. If Maddy hadn’t walked in. He flopped onto his stomach. But she had walked in. She had walked in on her boyfriend heavy breathing in the arms of her best friend. “Fuck me,” he moaned. His stomach clenched. Fresh sweat broke out across his palms. Another goddamn crush on another goddamn straight boy. Why couldn’t his dick figure out that Noah was off limits?
Noah’s hands, his arms, that incredible chest. All wet, all warm. He winced at the pressure of his hard-on against the sheet. The sheet the same color as ... He sighed. Do not go down that route. He’s Maddy’s boyfriend. He touches her all the time. What happened last night was confusion, nerves, fright, something. And yet? The electricity, that moment when there had been no one else there but the two of them. Just their bodies and breath so close he had felt it across his cheek and lips. He slammed his forehead against the mattress. His back remembered the hard curves of his grandmother’s butcher-block counter and his chest ached for the weight of a hard, wet body pressed against his.
This had to stop. There would be no second Kevin. Sure, Noah hadn’t called him a faggot. He’d been cool with the gay thing, and even cool with being told he was the object of a big gay crush. Luke’s ears burned at the memory of Noah’s cool voice daring him to look him in the eyes. Luke’s stomach flip-flopped. His dick grew impossibly harder.
He nearly bit his lip off as his balls throbbed. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. Distract yourself, Snyder. Do something other than think about Noah.” He might as well have suggested he do something other than breathe.
Luke grabbed his iPod off the bedside table. A run would help. The sticky summer air weighed in at an almost comfortable humidity. At this point it didn’t matter. Anything would be better than tossing and turning all night. His fingers ached to write more Invisible Girl, but there was no way she was going to have blue balls, so really, what was the point? He grabbed a pair of grey cut off sweats from his dresser. “Damnit!” There was no way to run sporting wood the size of one of those redwood trees.
Luke threw the shorts against the wall. The soft double thunk indicated they’d hit the wall before landing on the floor. Probably, hopefully, hadn’t woken any of his family. He rolled his eyes. The last thing he needed was another ‘some day your prince will come’ lecture from his parents. They meant well, but ... not so much.
His hand found the lube stuffed under his mattress. Whacking off at gram’s probably not the most PC thing. They were okay with the whole gay thing, but would they be okay with this? Did he care? He flipped his music on to random in an attempt to distract his desire. The smooth slipperiness of the liquid poured over his right hand. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard at the first touch of his fingers on his skin.
His hand smoothed over the head, slipped down the shaft. In his mind it became Noah...
*******
Noah knelt at the bottom of the bed. “Is this what you want, Luke? You can’t even look at me most of the time, but now?” His voice held that earnest innocence that undid Luke every time.
“Yes,” he breathed. “Yes, this is what I – oh god – please. I want.”
“Me? You want me to what, just watch?” Noah’s blue eyes lit up. His impish grin curled the corners of his lips. “Or maybe? Maybe I could help?” The rough heat of his hand dipped down to palm Luke’s sac. “Or this?” The fingers of Noah’s left hand looped around Luke’s shaft. He squeezed close, but not too hard.
Luke bit his lip, thrusting his hips ups in encouragement.
“You seem to like that?” Noah’s voice roughened. His breath hitched.
“I do. I do. Just don’t stop, please.”
*******
The song changed. Vienna’s weird music slid into his ears. That group with the bizarre singer, Bjork or whatever, he closed his eyes to stop himself from coming and listened to the words.
This wasn't supposed to happen,
I was happy by myself.
Accidentally, you seduced me,
I'm in love again.
How did some crazy old singer from some unknown part of Europe get him so fucking well? He pressed the back of his scalp into the pillow. This wasn’t supposed to happen. How could he be jonesing for another straight guy? His dick obviously didn’t care about orientation, just hotness.
*******
Noah’s fingers tightened, sliding up the shaft to encircle the head. He pressed his thumb against the very tip of Luke's dick. A throaty growl reverberated from his chest. “I could just swallow you whole right here, right now.”
Luke pressed his lips together, not wanting to break the spell.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? If I just –“ Noah leaned forward to swipe a slow, firm lick up Luke’s shaft. He tongued his way around the tip before settling his lips fully over the head. When he sucked in, the wet heat nearly destroyed Luke. Noah’s teeth scraped ever so gently against him, while his hands moved down his dick to once again hold his balls. His tongue swirled once, twice, over him. Luke’s hips bucked forward. “So close. Almost, oh god, going to come. Noah.”
*******
Luke’s hands sped up over his own dick. His palm shifted over his. The lube heated up, but couldn’t compare to what he hoped a boyfriend’s mouth would feel like. Up and down, pace slowing for a moment then speeding again, Luke tortured himself by not allowing the release. His heart wasn’t quite ready to shut down his dream.
This wasn't
Supposed to happen,
I've been hit
With your charm.
How could you do this
To me?
I'm in love
Again...
*******
Noah raised himself up to look into Luke’s eyes. “So much better when you don’t run away. You’re always leaving, Luke, why is that? Don’t you know I want you near me? Can’t you tell how I feel?” He skidded his way forward until he was a push up’s distance from Luke.
Noah’s pale skin inches from Luke was a whole new torture. He closed his eyes and once again felt warm breath across his cheeks, his eyelashes.
“You can’t even look me in the eyes. Why is that? What do I have to do?” Noah’s voice clung to that smug superiority that shouldn’t have been as damned sexy as it was.
Luke’s eyes flew open to lock against the intense blue of his lover’s. He gasped, squirmed against the sensation as Noah pressed his own thighs, chest and, oh god, dick against Luke’s. The gentle strokes of body against body had Luke whimpering all over again.
Noah’s eyes never left Luke’s intense brown stare. He laughed again. “That got you to look at me.” Noah’s arm muscles rippled slightly under the struggle of holding himself off Luke. His shoulders clenched as Luke’s cool fingers slid between their bodies. Luke feathered his hands across Noah, watching Noah tip his head back to groan.
“Do you like it?” Luke’s heart pounded. How should he touch Noah? What would he want? Noah’s arms wavered. For the briefest of moments their chests touched. Noah’s nipple burned against Luke’s. Their eyes rolled back in their heads.
“I do like it,” Noah managed to get out. “Not about me, Luke. About you. What do you want?” He moved closer, propped himself on his elbows. He licked a heavy trail from Luke’s collarbone to his ear, before biting at his neck. “What do you want?” He asked again.
Luke shook his head. His damned face went red hot. His ears burned. “Just. Want. You.” His hands wedged their way into the small space between their chests. Noah’s muscles tensed. He bit his lip. Luke smiled at the power he now held. “Love your body, Noah. Tried not too, but can’t help it. I know, I promised myself, never again after Kevin. But here you are and,” he groaned. “I’m weak. So fucking weak.” He rotated his head to stare at the shoulders on either side of him. He couldn’t meet Noah’s eyes any more.
Luke’s shift opened his neck to an intense assault to his senses. Noah slipped his elbows forward until their bodies met and his mouth met the curve of Luke’s neck. He bit harder at the taut tendon before sucking his skin hard enough to mark, deliberately seeking a bruise.
Luke writhed underneath Noah. His hands sought purchase against the chest that help him captive. He roamed his hands over the ripples of Noah’s abdomen. Each muscle isolated under his fingers as he flitted his fingers across to the incredible dip where Noah’s back met his ass. Captivating even in those borrowed, ugly blue shorts, Luke’s throat went dry as his hands slid across Noah’s hips and squeezed the muscles of his ass. Oh my god, he thought. I’m going to have Noah’s hickey on my neck tomorrow. Fuck. It’s way too hot for a turtleneck. Luke wriggled away. “Noah, you have to stop.” The humid air swiped cold across his heaving chest. He ached to pull Noah close once more.
“You want me to stop?” The pout of Noah’s voice contrasted with the smirk in his eyes. He dragged his tongue over Luke's neck. "Really?"
"Just don't leave a mark. We can't, we need to, what about Maddy?" Luke's stomach turned sour at the thought. She should know. He should confess his crush. If he could tell Noah, surely he could tell Maddy. Maybe that would make the permanent ache in his stomach and heart go away. Right, and maybe Casey would show up and Maddy would actually remember the difference between love and having a friend. Friendship meant movies and talking all night. Love was swapping spit like you meant it, and not like you were trying to prove a point to your damned father.
He used the pads of his finger to squeeze his balls gently. His other hand barely swayed over the head of his dick.
Noah's hands were larger, stronger than Luke's. He knelt up on the bed, pulled Luke's hands above his head. "Stop thinking, Luke. Just enjoy it." Noah caught Luke's mouth in a breath-stuttering kiss. Their tongues slid across each other. Luke's dick jumped in a combination of empathy and desire as Noah sucked on his tongue, then bit his lip. "This is going to happen," Noah breathed. "This is what you've wanted." Noah nipped Luke's jaw, traced the motion of Luke swallowing with his tongue. Luke's hands remained pinned. He switched his grip to hold Luke's biceps. Noah swirled his tongue over Luke's nipples. He scraped teeth across them, forcing Luke to a moan.
Noah slid his thighs over Luke's. The electric jolt of their dick's connecting made Luke's world go blurry. He couldn't finish a sentence or even a word. Hoping Noah got the point, Luke thrust his hip up. The move felt so good. His shaft embraced by the muscles of Noah's legs and somehow stroked him in just the right spot. He tried again. Still not trusting his power of speech, Luke managed a barely audible moan. He held his breath, only letting it out when Noah got the hint.
Noah's hands wrapped around his side placing pressure right on Luke's hipbones. They were hot and dry and somehow gentle. Noah's mouth eased off Luke's nipples and painted a spiral across his stomach. Luke's breath hitched. His hips moved. His dick ached for warmth and wet and Noah. Noah's teeth grazed his hipbones. He tongued the slide of his hip. Noah eased himself back to place his weight on Luke's shins. He left his hands where they were and breathed a hot kiss across the pre-come glistening on Luke's dick.
The first gentle lapping of Noah's tongue nearly shattered Luke. He pressed his lips together, tried to think of where they were, of who was home, of anything that would stop him coming on the spot. Noah wrapped around him and swallowed. Wet pressure, tension, heat slammed through Luke like lightening hitting the pond. His balls throbbed, contracted. Then Noah ran his tongue across where his balls met his dick. His teeth pricked dangerously at his base. The barest of gestures had pre-come catching on the back of Noah's throat. Where had he lost his gag reflex and learned to suck dick like that? He whimpered, wondering if it would be better if Noah was a virgin. Noah's second swallow, the one that squeezed his dick until he thought he might die, stopped Luke from caring. Again and again, slower, faster, harder, Luke lost track of the sensations as his lungs lost the capacity to function and his balls tensed. "Don't stop, Noah. Please. Coming. Coming. Oh shit, Noah, coming right now."
Lost in his own world of sensation, Luke's heart shattered into a million pieces as strands of come coated his fingers. He battled for breath and against tears. Still too hot, still too humid, and now so fucking lonely he wanted to curl up and die. The uncomfortable stickiness of lubes and come on his dick and his fingers depressed him. He grabbed his shirt off the floor and cleaned himself up as best as he could.
Luke fumbled under his pillow for Noah's shirt. Pathetic or not, when he'd had the chance to switch Noah's T-shirt for another one he'd done it immediately. It smelled of Old Spice deodorant, some generic boy cologne and most importantly Noah. Luke tightened his hands on it and allowed himself the quickest of smells. Noah told him to write about why Invisible Girl liked the guy. Would he ever be able to tell him that it was the way that guy gave head?
Luke shut off his iPod and attempted sleep once more.
*******
You've put a seed inside me,
And while you're away,
It's growing silently,
Starts in my stomach.
Embraces my insides,
And about to reach my heart.
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Loved it!